As the lazy, less structured days of summer give way to a fuller and more bustling fall schedule, Luke and I have been putting some thought into how we want this new “school year” rhythm to look for our family. Among other questions we’ve wrestled with, we have wondered when will we do homework, what after school activities will we participate in, where will we find the necessary down time, how will we prioritize relationships with each other and with friends and family outside our immediate household? I imagine this is a challenge for all people, no matter what stage of life. What things do we say “yes” to and what things do we not? What people do we invest our time in and what people do we entrust to others? The challenge of finding a good rhythm often feels daunting and the product of such efforts too easily thwarted. Yet, we still feel this is a place in our lives where we need to practice intentionality rather than letting whatever unhealthy rhythm may naturally take over.
Though there are many facets to our life’s rhythm we want to consider, a couple of recent books have encouraged us to take a hard look at technology and the depth of the role it plays in the rhythm we are creating for our family. Technology is awesome, and I’m thankful for so much of it, but the authors of these books exposed many ways in which Luke, the kids, and I have been allowing phones, email, Facebook, tablets, TV, and the like to invade and somewhat take over a few of the more treasured spaces of our lives—such as undistracted time together and meaningful face-to-face conversations. I have all too often used technology like a babysitter for my kids instead of doing the harder but more meaningful work of playing with them, getting to know them, teaching them new things, or helping them learn to resolve inevitable conflicts that can arise as we interact. Luke and I have wasted too many minutes (or perhaps more like hours) scrolling through the lives of distant acquaintances on Facebook instead of conversing face-to-face with the people with whom we are in daily relationships. We have been distracted by work emails or texts, which have pulled our attention from the people sitting next to us. We have seen the kids begin to watch more and more YouTubers explore, create, and play instead of going outside themselves to pursue exploration and adventure. We’ve seen how these behaviors, if not corrected, could be damaging to us, our kids, and those around us. So, we are asking for the Lord’s help in booting a few of these bad technology habits out of our family rhythm.
These changes aren’t easy. In fact, in the few weeks we’ve been trying to limit the grip technology has on our lives, we’ve found we still fall into the temptation of the easy access and escape it provides. To name a few examples, we’ve turned on the TV to keep the kids entertained while we fix dinner, gotten lost in our Facebook feeds, and looked at emails or responded to texts when we really didn’t need to. We’ve let the kids watch their favorite YouTube family or turned to our phones for company and entertainment when we felt the slightest hint of boredom or need for a break from reality. But, we have also experienced some triumph with our new intentionality in trying to keep technology in its proper place. It has afforded us greater connection, better conversation, more quiet space to think or be available, and has increased opportunities to learn, grow, and resolve conflict with each other, as well as a sweet freedom from being tethered to a phone.
We know new habits and a new rhythm with less technology may be difficult to form, especially in a world where new technologies and “always everywhere” connectivity is continually expanding. But, we’re accepting the challenge. We’re asking the Lord to help us “not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of our minds.” We hope that by experiencing more face-to-face connections and greater opportunities to be truly present with those around us, we may experience “what is good and acceptable and perfect” in the eyes of our relational, loving, and present God (Romans 12:2). Feel free to ask us how it’s going, to join us in the challenge, and to pray for us too =-)
If you are interested, the two books we read that have encouraged us to make changes to our rhythm and have provided practical help on how to do that are:
- The Tech Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in its Property Place by Andy Crouch
- Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age by Sherry Turkle
