A few weeks ago, our family received the unexpected and difficult news that my dad’s increasing abdominal pain was the result of rapidly progressing pancreatic cancer. In the wake of his prognosis, we have been wrestling with the sadness of having to say goodbye to a treasured husband, father, grandfather, brother, and friend, while simultaneously rejoicing in God’s kindness in giving us such a wonderful man, equipping him to make the meaningful impact he has made on the world, and allowing us this precious time to cherish being together.
This Father’s Day, amidst the realization that this is likely the last I will get to celebrate with him, I have been reflecting much on the gift of my dad’s presence and how his love has imaged God’s love for me. While there are many examples I could share, the most notable has been my dad’s willing self-sacrifice for the benefit of my good.
From as far back as I can remember, my dad has worked diligently and saved generously—not for selfish gain but to ensure a good life for our family. He continually gives of his time, treasures, and comfort so we might flourish. This tangible expression of selfless love mirrors God’s love as described in John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” The generosity, security, and goodness I have experienced through my dad’s hard work and selfless acts beautifully reflect the unparalleled kindness, assurance, and eternal hope God offers through His grace and mercy.
This type of self-sacrifice reveals a profound love that seeks the best for the beloved. As I look back on being my father’s daughter, I see countless examples where I was the beneficiary. When it would have been easier, quicker, and less expensive for my dad to go camping or fishing alone, he bought the necessary gear and made it possible for us to join him. When all I wanted was to take a road trip with a few “too-young” teenage friends, he endured my tears and angry words, knowing that protecting my safety and future was more loving than yielding to my fleeting desire for a little fun. When I rushed through chores, didn’t give my best, or was disrespectful, he gave consequences to help me see the negatives of such behaviors and guided me towards something better, shaping me into the woman I am today. Though not always recognized as loving in the moment, my dad’s actions were deeply rooted in his concern for me and his desire to seek what was best for me. As the Lord declared in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," my dad has been driven by similar hopes to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a bright future.
Reflecting on the depths of my dad’s love for me has proved a comfort in this difficult time, recognizing that his concern and care for me is merely a glimpse of the concern and care God has for him. While it is incredibly hard to watch my dad endure the pain of his cancer, I trust the Lord to hold him and seek the best for his future, just as my dad has done for me. I’m trusting Him for the present too. In recent months, I have witnessed God’s loving kindness toward my dad—honoring his desires to not grow old and dependent, to avoid prolonged suffering, to spend meaningful time with family and friends, to enjoy activities he loves, to laugh, drink wine, and cherish visits on the patio. He has been given the time to put things in order for our family and to leave this world knowing he has done all he could to set us up well for his parting. What a gift.
I am not ready to say goodbye to my dad, and I doubt I ever will be. But I am always eager to celebrate him. So, this Father’s Day, I raise a glass (preferably of my dad’s homemade wine) in gratitude—to my dad, whose sacrificial love has shaped my life and provided for our family's future, and to my Father in heaven, whose sacrificial love has secured a joyful and eternal future for all who accept His invitation. I am grateful beyond measure for the gift of my Savior and for the gift of my dad, who has so beautifully mirrored the love of the Father in his life.
By Katie Miller
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